February 2012
7 posts
The hardest thing I had to do as of late
is not cry, to think of reasons not to cry, and to convince myself maybe I am something.
Sounds simple.
So unhappy.
January 2012
30 posts
Fucking Great.
Netflix, and my teddy bear.
J. Cole.
I have a crush on him <3 And his music <3
This is one of the roughest nights, mentally, in such a long time. No sleep till tonight.
9 tags
January 16th, 2011
HW: 156
CW: 140
GW: 125-130
Measurements: Height: 5’2”
34 (D)
27” W
40” H (ugh)
GM: 34 D
25” W
36” H
Short Term Goals:
JAN 23: Least: 138, Maximun: 137
JAN 30: Least: 136, Maximun:135
FEB 06: Least: 134, Maximun: 133
FEB 13: Least: 132, Maximum: 131
LONG TERM...
I hate being nervous.
About everything.
Im nervous about what mini lecture my dad will give me before I leave, if I can control my eating habits when Im at school, and about starting the semester.
The best advice I have ever heard was don’t plan anything, just do it. Stop being a baby and just do it. There is nothing to be nervous about, JUST DO IT.
Ill see my parents again in March
Im going to download more...
I cant sleep.
Someone, entertain me.
Shes hot.
CURRENT:
34 (D)
27
40
GOAL:
32 (D)
25
36
I think thats realistic enough.
14 tags
I hate Measuring tapes.
And scales. POO TO YOU.
Daddy's Little Girl.
It made me so nervous that my dad understood how much Paul means to me. Usually, brown girls get the Boyfriend/marriage talk right before college (because dating is looked down upon, even prohibited if you are practicing Islam) so my dad seeing me so happy when I got my flowers upset him. I knew why it really upset. It wasnt really the fact that a boy he doesnt know got them for me. It was that a...
Im going to be 21.
And i dont even fancy drinking anymore.
Well, Im always wrong.
I dont know if I need to look for a therapist or a friend, because I cant keep feeling this unimportant in this life anymore.
1 tag
9 tags
Well.
That was ugh.
OH HAAAY!
I have no idea how to see who follows me on Tumblr. Omg, imagine my big brother follows me?! I would be knocked out. He would say “All these naked girls on your tumblr, then post and pictures about modesty and islam. Come here so I can slap you.” Ah I miss him!
Well I dont publicize my tumblr. I’ve told 3 people about it, and I highily doubt anyone uses it anymore (except Paul,...
The two scariest things in the world are
staying an extra year of college
Not being with him after he graduates (He moves back to Camillus)
Which will happen if I stay an extra year, and this scares me alot.
I should see a therapist at school because everything is getting out of hand.
December 2011
22 posts
Maybe I expect too much.
And instead of being the little cunt, and expecting too much or saying anything about it; I’ll just do what I always do. I dont want to be the bad person anymore, or the one who complains anymore.
I dont need anyone to fucking console me.
Night.
I hate being by myself.
I really really do. Happy New Years.
1 tablespoon of farmer cheese, 1 slice whole wheat...
at 3:57 in the morning.
I need to change my habits, or ill be gross forevar.
Meh.
What I ate today.
1/2 cup Honey Nut Cheerios
1/4 whole milk
Half a chicken shish kabob, less than a 1/4 of a naan
Half a serving of Silver dollar pancakes.
If I had a gym, Id have a hot body in no time!
It started Pouring.
Im starting to really dig deep and worry about the F I got. That I will have to stay yet another semester, and that it will pull be back very bad on my college career. Its not my first F, and I know if I retake it I wont get higher than maybe a D. I hate this feeling. Why cant I just do it.
I just realized I posted a half nude picture of...
Well I think they both are.
As The Rush comes.
In listening to dubstep for so long, I have forgotten my desire for trance. Gabriel and Dresden is such a great group and they did an amazing mix to Motorcycles ATRC. I failed my hardest class, everything feels different. Im going to be 21 soon. Almost done with my college career, and time to make big choices about my life. I am thankful I have good people in my life to help me make decisions and...